New Life in My Fifties: Getting a Colonoscopy Was a Wonderful Thing
Darkness is banished; everything now radiates with the timeless magnificence of uncountable suns - and I am in touch with the grandeur of Life, feeling the new found joy of an infant. All things are new again.
Be assured I have not stopped my meds. No Samaritan has approached me with fortunes from lost ancestors, and I have neither won the lottery, nor found an unexpected Picasso buried within Grandma's old trunk in the garage.
Today's gift is far more priceless.
For background, understand that I usually do consider myself to be an "adult." However, that does not mean I am pleased with the messy concept of mortality. I prefer - whenever possible - to retain the childlike view of the universe I had when protected from the fangs of that worldly reality by my parents (not then knowing they were probably doing the same as I do now).
Therefore, I have opted to not be "grown up," and resisted getting a routine colonoscopy, despite repeated reminders of its value. Beyond the "yick" factor I closely attached to such a procedure, the potential bursting of my bubble of immortality was too fear provoking. If one doesn't acknowledge what is frightful, it does not exist, right?
As I have adjusted diet and lifestyle to help alleviate the concerns of heart attack or stroke (most of the time), they do not elicit the gut wrenching horror in me that does cancer. Since my mother died savagely and before her time (or so I am convinced) from "the Big C," the slightest pain in my abdomen, or mole on my skin, whips up a frenzy of excruciating fear of following too soon in her path.
Simply look away; all unpleasantness will be gone. Resume breathing.
Alas, that lasts only so long. Being an "adult," I reluctantly consented to stagger fearfully into the dark place, my wife propping up my inner child. It's true, "the prep was worse than the process" (although the "prep" allows you to catch up on your reading).
As I was handed the photographs of my colon, I beamed with the same pride as a new mother receiving her infant. Although I was told, "Nothing to worry about - see you in 10 years," what I heard was, "The future is yours again. Enjoy it."
I grew up a little today, yet I feel so much younger.
Scott "Q" Marcus is a THINspirational speaker, Recovering Perfectionist, Syndicated Columnist, and the founder of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, a site for people who are tired of making promises to themselves but are willing to do what it takes to actually makes changes. In addition, he conducts speeches, workshops, and presentations throughout the country on how to achieve goals, improve attitude, and enjoy the process. You can contact him for speaking, coaching or consulting, or you can sign up for his free ezine, "This Time I Mean It" at http://www.scottqmarcus.com/ or at his blog at http://www.thistimeimeanit.com/
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